i have this new book called how to hold a crocodile: plus hundreds of other practical tips, fascinating facts, and wicked wisdom. it's pretty awesome. i highly recommend it. i also have an extra copy due to weird circumstances, so odds are if i owe you a gift anytime soon, you'll be sitting on the toilet reading this baby sometime soon.

i really hate popeye. why do i hate popeye so much?

i'm convinced the polaroid izone is the funnest thing since hula hoops were invented. well, really it goes back longer than that because i just remembered that hula hoops are not in any way even remotely fun.

i was talking to heidi today about the rhythms of language and writing. we said some pretty profound things, but i refuse to share with the class.

mama said i never did play well with others.