whenever i get really disappointed or angry with myself, i try to remember how cute and vulnerable i was when i was a little girl. it's trite, but it works for me. i've been thinking a lot lately about my childhood. i was not physically or sexually abused by any family members as a child. what i'm growing to understand is how pervasive and harmful the emotional NEGLECT was and how it still affects me as an adult. i have to filter all perceptions of my relationships as an adult through a very cloudy lens. i think the next step is forgiving them for what they didn't provide and forgiving myself for being flawed. i'll get there. one day.